You might be a helicopter redneck if-

StanFoster

Newbie
Joined
Nov 16, 2003
Messages
16,880
Location
Paxton, Il
Aircraft
Helicycle N360SF
Total Flight Time
1250
You might be a helicopter redneck if........................... You have your N-number on your belt buckle........................your low rotor rpm plays Dixie....................a deer carcass is tied to your skids....................you try to impress your girlfriend by buzzing her double wide.....................your cross country flights use flea markets as checkpoints.......................you pick your microphone with a toothpick......................you have your radio frequencies tatooed on your arms...................................You just might be a redneck! Stan
 
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johnifly

Newbie
Joined
Dec 26, 2008
Messages
104
Location
Mt Vernon, AR
Aircraft
Robinson R44, R22, & Mini 500
Total Flight Time
600
Stan

Being a redneck from Arkansas you did get one wrong. We don't use flea markets we use Beer stores.
 

Oky777

Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2010
Messages
154
Location
Snohomish WA
Aircraft
ELA Eclipse
Total Flight Time
120+ fixed wing, 20 Gyro
You may be a redneck pilot if:

* Your stall warning plays "Dixie".
* Your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as checkpoints.
* You think sectional charts should show trailer parks.
* You've ever used moonshine as Avgas.
* You have mudflaps on your wheel pants.
* Your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
* You've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.
* You wouldn't be caught dead in a Grumman Yankee.
* You use a Purina feed sack for a wind sock.
* The side of your airplane has a sign advertising your septic tank service.
* You constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.
* You think GPS stands for Going Perfectly Straight.
* You refer to formation flying as, "We got us a convoy".
* Your matched set of luggage is three grocery bags from the Piggly Wiggly.
* You have a black airplane with a big number 3 on the side.
* You've ever fueled your airplane from a mason jar.
* You've got a gun rack on the passenger window.
* You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling together.
* Your preflight includes removing all of the clover, grass, and wheat from your landing gear.
* You figure the weight of the mud and manure on your airplane into the CG calculations.
* You siphon gas from your tractor to put in your airplane.
* You've never landed at an actual airport though you've been flying for years.
* You've ground looped after hitting a cow.
* You consider anything over 100' AGL to be high altitude flight.
* There are parts of your airplane labeled John Deere.
* You've never actually seen a sectional but have all of the Texaco road maps for your flying area.
* You answer all radio calls from females with, "That's a big 10-4 little darlin'".
* There's exhaust residue on the right side of your aircraft and tobacco stains on the left.
* You have to buzz the strip to chase off the sheep and goats.
* You use your parachute to cover your plane.
* You've ever landed on the main street of town to get a cup of coffee.
* You fly to family reunions to meet girls.
* You've won the "Barbed Wire" award at a spot landing contest.
* Some of your favorite navigation aids have things like "Seniors 96" hand painted on them.
* The tread pattern, if any, on your main tires doesn't match.
* Your primary comm. radio has 90 channels.
* You have fuzzy dice hanging from the magnetic compass.
* You put hay in the baggage compartment so your dogs don't get cold.
* Your flight instructor's day job is at the community sales barn.
* You've got matching bumper stickers on the vertical fin.
* There are grass stains on your propeller tips.
* There is a brown stained Styrofoam cup strategically placed in your glove box.
* The FAA still thinks you live at your parents house.
* You think Zulu is an African time zone.
* Your hanger collapses and more than 4 dogs are injured.
* Somewhere on your airplane is a "I'd rather be fishing" bumper sticker.
* You navigate with your ADF tuned to exclusively country stations.
* When you get to the airport cafe they hand you biscuits and gravy instead of a menu.
* You think that an ultralight is a new sissy beer from Budweiser.
* Just before the crash, everybody at the airport heard you say, " Hey, ya'll watch this!!".
 

ironcowboy

Senior Master Member E-8
Joined
Apr 6, 2010
Messages
469
Location
Bloomington IN
Aircraft
CZAW Light sport, and Cessna C172M, Cessna C140
Total Flight Time
105 as a pilot
I have a chrome nude girl on my tail!
 

All_In

Gold Supporter
Joined
Apr 21, 2008
Messages
14,602
Location
San Diego, CA. USA
Aircraft
Piper Archer, Aviomania G1sb
Total Flight Time
Not sure over 10,000+ logged FW, 260+ ultralights, sailplane, hang-gliders
Now that's fun-knee rit ther... don't care who you R!
 

robertstodaro

Senior Member
Joined
Nov 9, 2003
Messages
471
Location
humble tx usa
Aircraft
618 dominator
Total Flight Time
500
I once landed my gyro at BassPro shop and went in and bought a fishing pole, Then tied it to my landing gear with my shoe laces and flew out. Do I qualify?
 

Arnie Madsen

Member
Joined
Mar 14, 2007
Messages
4,352
Location
Southport Aerospace - Manitoba Canada
Aircraft
Bell 47 G2
I am a redneck. I hovered over some derelict upside down cars out in a farm pasture. I really did. I was looking for a Ford 9" rear end for my brother who was building a V8 Vega. Car guys know what a 9" Ford differential is.

It gets even worse. I drove an AMC Pacer to flight school every weekend. I parked it way in the back of the lot and hung my head low as I walked to the hangar. Until I saw all the junk all the other pilots were driving. Now I think all helicopter pilots are rednecks. I started parking closer. I even waxed my Pacer.

It was actually a good car. It had a 256 cu in straight six , lots of torque, good mileage and kept me out of trouble for a long time. When you have a Pacer , the girls will not pay attention , and like I said , that saves a lot of trouble.

Especially when you already have a girlfriend that talked you into letting her use your car for a quick delivery messenger service. She made a lot of money in the delivery business , she put 80,000 miles on the car in 2 years , and I took the bus to work. Of course.

Now the good news. The car was written off in an accident , I had bought it for $400 and insurance offered me $2400 as settlement. I gulped , said yes , took $2000 of the money and gave it to the helicopter school. Life was good.



Mine was lime green . I even waxed it. I am a redneck.
 

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Arnie Madsen

Member
Joined
Mar 14, 2007
Messages
4,352
Location
Southport Aerospace - Manitoba Canada
Aircraft
Bell 47 G2
When a redneck gives $2000 of his AMC Pacer insurance settlement to a helicopter school , there is only one thing else he can do. Take the remaining $400 and go look for another car.

I found an AMC Hornet for $200. No miles on it . Was owned by a little old lady. Only they drive Hornets , unless you are a Redneck. I am. Paid cash , gave the car to my girlfriend for her delivery service , and I went back on the bus of course . The helicopter school has lots of my money , life is good. I can fly for another month.


I never once waxed that Hornet. Even Rednecks have some principles.
 

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