Plane Talk
Plane Talk
Some old some new. I'll let you sort them out.
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Aviation Note: For those who don't know, "The Sled" is the SR-71
Blackbird spy plane from the 1960's and still the fastest
airplane._*
*In his book, "Sled Driver", SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul
writes: "I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred
one day as Walt (my back-seater) and I were screaming across
Southern California 13 miles high. We were monitoring various radio
transmissions from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles
airspace Though they didn't really control us, they did monitor our
movement across their scope. *
*I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its ground speed."90 knots"
Center replied. Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same. "120
knots,"*
*Center answered. We weren't the only ones proud of our ground speed
that day as almost instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, "Ah,
Center, Dusty 52 requests ground speed readout." There was a slight
pause, then the response, "525 knots on the ground, Dusty." Another
silent pause. *
*As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard
a familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my back-seater.
It was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a
real crew, for we were both thinking in unison. "Center, Aspen 20,
you got a ground speed readout for us?" There was a longer than
normal pause... "Aspen, I show 1,742 knots" (That's about 2004.658
mph for those who don't know)*
*No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.*
*--------------------------------------------------*
*In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported
receiving a request for clearance to FL 600 (60,000ft). The
incredulous controller , with some disdain in his voice, asked, "How
do you plan to get up to 60,000 feet? *
*The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded, "We don't plan to
go up to it; we plan to go down to it." He was cleared.*
*-------------------------------------*
*The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He
placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the
navigator, *
*"Do you know what I use this for?"*
*The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?" The pilot
responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!"*
*The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart
table. *
*The pilot asked, "What's that for?" "To be honest sir," the
navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost before you will."*
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*When Hillary Clinton visited Iraq last month the Army Blackhawk
helicopter used to transport the Senator was given the call sign
"broomstick one". And they say the Army has no sense of humor!*
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*
*Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" Delta
351:"Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"*
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*
*One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold
short of the runway while a MD80 landed. The MD80 landed, rolled
out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some
quick-witted comedian in the MD80 crew got on the radio and said,
"What a cute little plane. *
*Did you make it all by yourself?"*
*Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by,
came back with: "I made it out of MD80 parts. Another landing like
that and I'll have enough parts for another one." *
*----------------------------------------------- ---*
*There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority
landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit
peaked." Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was
number two behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down. *
*"Ah," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine approach."*
*----------------------------------------------*
*A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While
attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was
your last known position?" *
*Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."*
*--------------------------------------------------*
*Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around
and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took
off. *
*A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the
problem?"*
*"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine,"
explained the flight attendant," and it took us a while to find a
new pilot." *
