HAPPY NEW YEAR and may you MAKE ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE this year.
Chuck Roberg sent me this thought you might enjoy it...
1. My goal for 2016 was to lose 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.
2. I ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really, just
one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce and cheese.
FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.
3. How to prepare Tofu:
1. Throw it in the trash.
2. Grill some Meat.
4. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
5. I don't mean to brag but I finished my 14-day supply of diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
7. Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk nine feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero they closed school? Me neither.
10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. I'm sorry, I forgot where I was going with this.
11. I love being over 70. I learn something new every day and forget 5 others.
12. A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.
13. My dentist told me I need a Crown. I said, “You bet, pour mine over the rocks.”
14. I think I'll put an "Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
15. Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
