aussie check-ride

MMorgan

Gold Supporter
Joined
Nov 7, 2003
Messages
312
Location
Kaplan, La.
Aircraft
MTO Sport, Bensen, LittleWing LW-3, Breezy
Total Flight Time
4000+
Hi Mate,

I am writing to you, because I need your help to get me bloody pilot's license back. You keep telling me you got all the right contacts. Well now's your chance to make something happen for me because, mate, I'm bloody desperate.

But first, I'd better tell you what happened during my last flight review with the CAA Examiner.

On the phone, Ron (that's the CAA dickhead) seemed a reasonable sort of bloke. He politely reminded me of the need to do a flight review every two years. He even offered to drive out, have a look over my property and let me operate from my own strip.
Anyway, Ron turned up last Wednesday. First up, he said he was a bit surprised to see the plane on a small strip outside my homestead, because the ALA (Authorized Landing Area) is about a mile away. I explained that because this strip was so close to the homestead, it was more convenient than the ALA, and despite the power lines crossing about midway down the strip it's really not a probl! em to land and take-off, because at the half-way point down the strip you're usually still on the ground.

For some reason Ron seemed nervous. So, although I had done the pre-flight inspection only four days earlier, I decided to do it all over again. Because the prick was watching me carefully, I walked around
the plane three times instead of my usual two.

My effort was rewarded because the color finally returned to Ron's cheeks. In fact, they went a bright red. In view of Ron's obviously better mood, I told him I was going to combine the test flight with some farm work, as I had to deliver three poddy calves from the home paddock to the main herd. After a bit of a chase I finally caught the calves and threw them into the back of the ol' Cessna 172. We climbed aboard, but Ron started getting' onto me about weight and balance calculations and all that crap. Of course I knew that sort of thing was a waste of time because, c! alves like to move around a bit particularly when they see
themselves 500 feet off the ground! So, its bloody pointless trying to secure them as you know. However, I did tell Ron that he shouldn't worry as I always keep the trim wheel set on neutral to ensure we remain
pretty stable at all stages throughout the flight.

Anyway, I started the engine and cleverly minimized the warm-up time by tramping hard on the brakes and gunning her to 2,500rpm. I then discovered that Ron has very acute hearing, even though he was wearing a bloody headset. Through all that noise he detected a metallic rattle and demanded I account for it. Actually it began about a month ago and was caused by a screwdriver that fell down a hole in the floor and lodged in the fuel selector mechanism. The selector can't be moved now, but it doesn't matter because it's jammed on 'All tanks', so I suppose that's Okay.

However, as Ron was obviously a real nit-picker, I! blamed the noise on vibration from a stainless steel thermos flask, which I keep in a beaut little possie between the windshield and the magnetic compass. My explanation seemed to relax Ron, because he slumped back in the seat and kept looking up at the cockpit roof. I released the brakes to taxi out, but unfortunately the plane gave a leap and spun to the right. "Hell" I thought, "not the starboard wheel chock again". The bump jolted Ron back to full alertness. He looked wildly around just in time to see a rock thrown by the propwash disappear completely through the windscreen of his brand new Commodore. "Now I'm really in trouble", I thought.

While Ron was busy ranting about his car, I ignored his requirement that we taxi to the ALA, and instead took off under the power lines. Ron didn't say a word, at least not until the engine started coughing right
at the lift off ! point, then he bloody screamed his head off. "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!"

"Now take it easy, Ron" I told him firmly. "That often happens on take-off and there is a good reason for it." I explained patiently that I usually run the plane on standard MOGAS, but one day I accidentally put in a gallon or two of kerosene. To compensate for the low octane of the kerosene, I siphoned in a few gallons off super MOGAS and shook the wings up and down a few times to mix it up. Since then, the engine has been coughing a bit but in general it works just fine, if you know how to coax it properly.

Anyway, at this stage Ron seemed to lose all interest in my flight test. He pulled out some rosary beads, closed his eyes and became lost in prayer. (I didn't think anyone was a Catholic these days). I selected
some nice music on the HF radio to help him relax.

Meanwhile, I climbed to my normal cruising altitude of 10,500 feet. I don't normally put in a flight plan or get the weather because, as you know getting Fax access out here is a friggin' joke and the bloody weather is always 8/8 blue anyway. But since I had that near miss with a Saab 340, I might have to change me thinking on that. Anyhow, on leveling out I noticed some wild camels heading into my improved pasture. I hate bloody camels, and always carry a loaded .303 clipped inside the door of the Cessna just in case I see any of the bastards.

We were too high to hit them, but as a matter of p! rinciple, I decided to have a go through the open window. Mate, when I pulled the bloody rifle out, the effect on Ron was friggin' electric. As I fired the first shot his neck lengthened by about six inches and his eyes bulged like a rabbit with myxo. He really looked as if he had been jabbed with an electric cattle prod on full power. In fact, Ron's reaction was so distracting that I lost concentration for a second and the next shot went straight through the port tyre. Ron was a bit upset about the shooting (probably one of those pinko animal lovers I guess) so I decided not to tell him about our little problem with the tyre.

Shortly afterwards I located the main herd and decided to do my fighter pilot trick.

Ron had gone back to praying when, in one smooth sequence, I pulled on full flaps, cut the power and started a sideslip from 10,500 feet down to 500 feet at 130 knots indicated (the last time I looked anyway) and the little needle rushing up to the red area on me ASI. What a buzz, mate! About half way through the descent I looked back in the cabin to see the calves gracefully suspended in mid air and mooing like crazy. I was going to comment on this unusual sight, but Ron looked a bit green and had rolled himself into the fetal position and was screamin' his freakin' head off. Mate, talk about being in a! bloody zoo. You should've been there, it was so bloody funny!

At about 500 feet I leveled out, but for some reason we continued sinking. When we reached 50 feet I applied full power but nothin' happened; no noise no nothin'. Then, luckily, I heard me instructor's voice in me head saying "carby heat, carby heat". So I pulled carby heat on and that helped quite a lot, with the engine finally regaining full power. Whew, that was really close, let me tell you!

Then mate, you'll never guess what happened next! As luck would have it, at that height we flew into a massive dust cloud caused by the cattle and suddenly went I.F. bloody R, mate. BJ, you would've been bloody proud of me as I didn't panic once, not once, but I did make a mental note to consider an instrument rating as soon as me gyro is repaired (Something I've been meaning to do for a while now).

Suddenly Ron's elongated neck and bulging eyes reappeared. His mouth opened wide, very wide, but no sound emerged. "Take it easy," I told him. "we'll be out of this in a minute." Sure enough, about a minute
later we emerge; still straight and level and still at 50 feet.

Admittedly I was surprised to notice that we were upside down, and I kept thinking to myself, "I hope Ron didn't notice that I had forgotten to set the QNH when we were taxying". This minor tribulation forced me
to fly to a nearby valley in which I had to do a half roll to get upright again.

By now the main herd had divided into two groups leaving a narrow strip between them. "Ah!," I thought, "there's an omen. We'll land right there." Knowing that the tyre problem demanded a slow approach, I flew a couple of steep turns with full flap. Soon the stall warning horn was blaring so loud in me ear that I cut its circuit breaker to shut it up, but by then I knew we were slow enough anyway. I turned steeply onto a 75 foot final and put her down with a real thud. Strangely enough, I had always thought y! ou could only ground loop in a tail dragger but, as usual, I was proved wrong again!

Halfway through our third loop, Ron at last recovered his sense of humour. Talk about laugh. I've never seen the likes of it. He couldn't stop. We finally rolled to a halt and I released the calves, who bolted out of the aircraft like there was no tomorrow.

I then began picking clumps of dry grass. Between gut wrenching fits of laughter, Ron asked what I was doing. I explained that we had to stuff the port tyre with grass so we could fly back to the homestead. It was then that Ron really lost the plot and started running away from the aircraft. Can you believe it? The last time I saw him he was off into the distance, arms flailing in the air and still shrieking with laughter. I later heard that he had been confined to a psychiatric institution - poor bugger!

Anyhow, mate, that's enough about Ron. The problem is I just got a letter from CASA withdrawing, as they put it, my privileges to fly; until I have undergone a complete pilot training course again and undertaken another flight proficiency test. Now I admit that I made a mistake in taxiin! g over the wheel chock and not setting the QNH using strip elevation, but I can't see what else I did that was so bloody bad that they have to withdraw me flamin' license. Can you?
 

MMorgan

Gold Supporter
Joined
Nov 7, 2003
Messages
312
Location
Kaplan, La.
Aircraft
MTO Sport, Bensen, LittleWing LW-3, Breezy
Total Flight Time
4000+
Afriend of mine sent it to me by email.
 

Chuck Irby

Platinum Member
Joined
Dec 17, 2003
Messages
1,932
Location
Laurel, Mississippi
Aircraft
618 Dominator Single
Total Flight Time
60 solo
Pretty funny stuff, Mike.

Pretty funny stuff, Mike.

Thanx for the laughs. I didn't realize you had a comical side. I like it.

Ja'll get any rain yesterday? In about 1 hour we got 3 5/16". The attached pic is fuzzy, but shows the waterfall that filled up my 1/3 acre pond during the period of less than an hour. It was 2 feet low 14 hours ago.
 

Chuck Irby

Platinum Member
Joined
Dec 17, 2003
Messages
1,932
Location
Laurel, Mississippi
Aircraft
618 Dominator Single
Total Flight Time
60 solo
Here's one taken this morning

Here's one taken this morning

What a beautiful morning it is too. We've really been pounded with rain for the last couple of weeks. Sure hope it'll end soon.
 

Attachments

GraemeMonro

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
139
Location
Victoria, Australia
Aircraft
503 light gyro, 2 seat powered chute
Heavy rain

Heavy rain

Chuck,
about four years ago when I was living in the northern tropics of Australia we had a publick holiday on a friday giving us a long weekend. It started to rain after dark on the Thursday night and stoped early Sunday night. The amazing part of this story is that we had 52" of rain during that time. It sure did make the sugar cane grow and we just stayed on the porch and drank beer, all in all it was a great weekend.
 

Aussie_Paul

A reforming stirrer!!!!!
Joined
Oct 30, 2003
Messages
4,441
Location
Ballarat Australia
Aircraft
None at the moment.
Total Flight Time
Since 1982 Gyro 5000+ mostly instructing, and approx. 200 fixed wing in the late 1960s.
Up your way next week

Up your way next week

Hi Graeme, :) I will be training next week on a property 2 nm east of the Tandara rail siding. A fella called Bill Govett. I hope that we can catch up. Can you give me the GPS co-ords to your strip please?

Aussie Paul.
 

Chuck Irby

Platinum Member
Joined
Dec 17, 2003
Messages
1,932
Location
Laurel, Mississippi
Aircraft
618 Dominator Single
Total Flight Time
60 solo
Hello Graeme,

WOW! That is some rain, almost an inch per hour for roughly 52 hours. Would you call that a monsoon?

We got over 3 inches again this afternoon. My pond, being full already, looked like a river instead of a pond.
 

birdy

Newbie
Joined
Mar 19, 2004
Messages
7,052
Location
Alice Springs-central Oz.
Aircraft
open frame single seat & a 'wasa' RAF, among other types.
Total Flight Time
7000 odd, bout 5000 gyro
Heaviest rain I'v seen here in the "arid" center of Oz was 4 1/2 " in 20 mins.Good thing it don't happen every day.
 

Chuck Irby

Platinum Member
Joined
Dec 17, 2003
Messages
1,932
Location
Laurel, Mississippi
Aircraft
618 Dominator Single
Total Flight Time
60 solo
That's some heavy rain alright, Birdy. Yesterday, we got 3 inches in 30 minutes. That's heavy, but you were getting about twice that. When I lived in Texas, I met a guy from a little town in West Texas at an automobile auction in Dallas. We got to talking and the topic of rain came up. I asked him how much anual rainfall they normally got in his part of the world. He replied "22 inches . . . . and I remember the day it came".
 

gyroman

Never-ending gyro builder
Joined
Oct 30, 2003
Messages
617
Location
Alvin, TX
Aircraft
Building a Honeybee
Total Flight Time
15 minutes
Rainfall record

Rainfall record

My little town of Alvin, Texas still holds the US record for most rainfall in a 24 hour period. Rained 45 inches that night during tropical storm Claudette in 1979. I still remember it coming in the house and the mad dash to get up in the attic, we then watched it rise up the walls all night. Pretty scary for a 9 year old kid...
 
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mrford61

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 6, 2003
Messages
220
My family and I were in Katherine NT waiting for the birth of my 4th child when the town went underwater in 1998. I sat up all night reading a book and it bucketed down all night.
We got some supplies and moved to a second floor motel as the River broke her banks and the town slowly went under.
At midday, the flood almost at peak, my wife felt the first pangs of labour so I rang the command centre that had been set up outside the flood area. At first a 10ft tinny piloted by a well meaning drunk turned up. I considered the fast moving water and the crocodiles swimming around town and diplomaticly told him to F off and send a bigger boat.
Anywat ,cut a long story short, a police boat turned up and took my humungously round wife (getting her into the boat was a battle) to the RAAF base and the rest of us to a shelter.
The next morning our son, a 10 pounder, was born on a makeshift bed in an excersise room at the base, my wife going without the luxuries of any form of pain relief.
The next day Julie and all the kids were on the first "Hercules" evac flight to Darwin. When they got off the plane in Darwin a TV crew were standing on the Tarmac. Julie started herding the kids around them but guess who they wanted to interview :D . :D

The cause of the flood was Tropical Cyclone "Les". People were suggesting we call the boy Les. BUT he ended up "Jack" , is 6 now, loves the water and can swim like a fish.
 

Aussie_Paul

A reforming stirrer!!!!!
Joined
Oct 30, 2003
Messages
4,441
Location
Ballarat Australia
Aircraft
None at the moment.
Total Flight Time
Since 1982 Gyro 5000+ mostly instructing, and approx. 200 fixed wing in the late 1960s.
Wow Mark!! what a pressure time. You people in the outback are a special breed, and in some ways I envy you. I am too "soft" I think.

Aussie Paul
 
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