I found the Bridge!

[Vance]

Standing in front of a Racing Motorcycle that I built with my friends in 1984 that is still setting records helped me to see something about how my pendulum swings and bridged a gap in my understanding of the path of my life. As I listened to some of the giants of the racing world, many who had been trampled by the passing years and racing mishaps I found a bridge that has great value to me. I spoke of this when I was inducted into the Dry Lakes Racer Hall of Fame and several of these giants expressed that my words had touched a chord. I love that. I will try to share it with you, my friends, if you will follow along with me.

When I had my accident in 1995 I lost an eye and a lot of brain cells. I could not walk unassisted or speak in complete sentences. I had very little short term memory. I could remember what it was like to be me before the accident. I would find ways cheat and to pretend that I didn’t have these problems. I would fain anger to shorten a conversation or steady myself on things as I walked through a room.

If I thought about what it was like to see with both eyes or express myself with words I could find, I would become frustrated with my present condition. For me, the key to moving forward was to re-align my goals to my new capabilities. In less kind words, I needed to aim lower.

Unconsciously I buried the old Vance and became a new and different Vance. I would battle with this, trying to accomplish things that were beyond my capabilities. I would imagine that I could do things with resources I no longer had.

I had to bury him deep to find joy in simple accomplishments like not falling over for a week or in the discovery of simple ways to get around my handicaps. I was able to find a simple joy when I discovered that if I stuck my hand out first to shake that the other person would have to find my hand and they would not know that I was unable to judge distance.

I worked hard to appear whole until I realized that what others thought wasn’t as important as how I felt. As I would reflect on the day I would take pleasure in things that worked and work on the things that didn’t so my next day would be better. Progress is for me and from the new Vance perspective.

When I started attending my acquired brain injury meetings I was able to distance myself further from the dead Vance and revel in my simple accomplishments. I found joy in sharing the ways I had learned to manage unmanageable situations. I was still unaware that I had buried the old Vance. I didn’t understand people who couldn’t seize the day and be excited about today’s accomplishments. I now feel it is because they haven’t buried who they were before the injury.

What I realized while I was standing there was that I had buried all of the old Vance in my efforts to make today special. I came to realize that the foundation of who I am today is based on who I was in those early days of racing and innovating. I found a bridge to the past. As I looked in the eyes of old friends and remembered the inspiration they were to me when I was whole. They are no less an inspiration today because I found the bridge.

The way you get into the Hall of Fame is to be voted in by the pervious inductees. It is nice to think that I made a favorable impression on my racing heroes so many years ago. I have set records since the accident but I have not really competed. It was really about racing in the early 1980s. I listened to many Vance stories that were exaggerated by the passing years and colorful memories.

I didn’t understand why I was reluctant to go. I have always tried to focus on today and the dreams of tomorrow. The idea of digging up bones lacked appeal.

I found great value in it. The reality of working so hard to be two places at once is testament that the new Vance is built of the rubble of the old Vance. The fact that Edna, John, Mike, Mickey, Terry, David, Tiberius, Gail and Tim would go to such great lengths to make it happen is testament that the bridge is important.

I missed the Friday night corn roast and Saturday night’s festivities at the Ken Brock Freedom Fly In to be in Buellton finding my bridge.

We put 1,200 miles on my truck and over 500 miles on the Predator to have memories of a weekend and lessons that will last a life time. I have a new understanding of the continuity of life.

Thank you, Vance

[helipaddy]

Vance
You are a true inspiration.
Thank you.
Paddy

[PW_Plack]

Vance, the sad thing is that many of us walk around unaware that we have an old self to bury. It sounds as if your injuries had an upside, opening doors in places where you didn't even know doors existed.

We're all entertained by stories of people who accomplish things in spite of challenges. Stories about people with no challenges are boring, and result in no personal growth for the characters.

[ckurz7000]

There's nothing I could say that others haven't said before. But I still mean it, though!

-- Chris.

[Vance]

Thank you Paddy, I get excited when I am able to identify my emotions and I wanted to share that epiphany with my friends. I felt it was a little off topic for the forum. I realized after I spoke at the gas up that it is not that unusual a life experience, it usually doesn’t happen so suddenly.

Hello Paul, I am often out of touch with my feelings and that is why it is exciting when I am able to identify them and get more pleasure from them. I find life very confusing and short. I am struggling to get the most out of each day. I revel in the struggle and seek the challenge.

Thank you Chris, I am not sure what you said.

Edna remarked that people would not know how to respond. She was there at the accident and watched the struggle. She cried when she read this.

Thank you, Vance

[Mike Schallmann]

Edna ,like you, is a remarkable person. I enjoyed talking with you both this year.

[Vance]

Hello Mike, You are why I posted this.

I thought it was too off topic.

Edna loved your machine and was pleased to meet someone that I had spoken about so much. I will post some of her pictures when I write about the flight on Sunday.

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I have no idea of how to get a book published or who would buy it. I would benefit from writing it.

Thank you, Vance

[M._Springer]

Vance, what an inspiring person you are. I learn from you in everything you write.
I'm glad you were able to be with us for at least part of the fly-in. Edna we missed you.
Marion

[Vance]

Thank you Marion, I take that as a high complement.

Ed, John and I made it Sunday morning to fly the Predator home but John Stevens wanted to get going and they left before you showed up.

We will try to make it to some chapter meetings.

Thank you, Vance

[StanFoster]

Vance- You are living a blessed life and you are an inspiration to myself and many others. I simply just am in awe around you. Your resolve is something else. Stan

[Vance]

Thank you Stan, I feel the same way about you.
Vance