Funny Translations

[PW_Plack]

We sometimes see odd translations into English by Bablefish, Google, and other computer translators, which either fail to capture the nuances of the original speaker, or inadvertently add in their own nuances, sometimes to comedic effect.

I thought I'd start a thread for these things, and see if anyone else appreciates the humor in these things.

Here is a spam from Asia, as an example to get started. Note the language attributed to quotes from US users of the product...yeah, right!
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“I had always led a first-class life until a year ago a girl I was seeing told me I was plump and in want of being careful to my health. Life was never the same after that, until I was told about Anatrim ™ at once. After loosing more than 18 kilos thanks to Anatrim, my private life is back on track, even significantly better than before. Lots of thanks for the awesome stuff & the top-quality service. Keep on the valuable work!”
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[Passin' Thru]

Paul, you're probably too young to remember when Japanese motorcycles were first imported to the US, but the translated maintanance manuals were an absolute a riot! One that comes to memory; " Brake perform serious function. It make possible to stop motorcycle. Without brake bad accident happen!"
Starting instructions: ".... pivot finger of starting lever outward. Place foot securely on finger and thrust vigorously downward. Repeat as necessary."

[Arnie Madsen]

I bought a "world clock" with instructions translated from Chineese.

Once the box is destroyed and the clock removed , return to the destroyed box to search the battery. When battery is searched place it on the side down and not the side up by the pictures. The time will start in Grenwhich England not where you live. Find the button where you live and that is where you are with the time.

Greetings from Canada
Arnie Madsen

ps Confucious say woman who fly gyrocopter upside down will have crack-up

[PW_Plack]

Pete, I wasn't into motorcycles when I was young, but I was into electronics, and there were lots of funny Japanese owners' manuals in that realm, too.

These days, the stuff from Japan is pretty good, even the stuff from Korea, Taiwan, Mexico gets the language mostly right. The funny stuff now comes from China, where apparently the cost of a person who speaks English is considered unnecessary overhead.

I have a portable, battery-powered alarm clock from Radio Shack (circa 1995)which awakens me with a somewhat irritated-sounding woman's voice. (It was therefore helpful in managing the transition during my divorce a few years ago.) It was made in Hong Kong, and the lady on the chip has a Hong Kong accent! It's great, like a Chinese accent mixed with British.

[Heron]

If you want to do business you better know two or three languages.
The more I speak portugues the funnier my english gets . . .it is really portuguese translated.
I know . . .I don't make much sense either!
Heron

[13brv3]

My favorite was the old Mazda oil filters that said "tighten enough by hand"

Rusty

[Gyropilot007]

I have one for you. My company imports electronic equipment from Sweden. One of the early equipment assembly manuals from Sweden has this passage, "Insert the male part into the female part where it fits and screw the nuts."

I couldn't stop laughing when I first read this. We call this language Swenglish!!

Bob