Phil_Ruffin
01-19-2006, 05:47 PM
Californians
So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, you
know you're from California if:
* 1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings, and none are visible.
* 2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
* 3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation
***** in English.
* 4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named
***** Flower.
* 5. You can't remember . . . . is pot illegal?
* 6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
* 7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown,
***** and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
* 8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
* 9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
10. Gas costs $1.00 to $2.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
11. Unlike back home, at 8:30 in the morning, the guy at*Starbucks wearing a baseball
cap*and*sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George*Clooney.
12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
13. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station:*
***** "STORM WATCH."
15. You pass an elementary school playground, and the children are all busy
***** with their cells phones*or pagers.
16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early
***** to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.
19. The Terminator is your governor.
20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license.* If you're here
***** illegally, they want to give you one
So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, you
know you're from California if:
* 1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings, and none are visible.
* 2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
* 3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation
***** in English.
* 4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named
***** Flower.
* 5. You can't remember . . . . is pot illegal?
* 6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
* 7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown,
***** and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
* 8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
* 9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
10. Gas costs $1.00 to $2.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
11. Unlike back home, at 8:30 in the morning, the guy at*Starbucks wearing a baseball
cap*and*sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George*Clooney.
12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
13. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station:*
***** "STORM WATCH."
15. You pass an elementary school playground, and the children are all busy
***** with their cells phones*or pagers.
16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early
***** to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.
19. The Terminator is your governor.
20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license.* If you're here
***** illegally, they want to give you one