How to handle your women!

[Chuck Irby]

Funny now, but....

I became single less than a year ago. For the past nine months I have been seeing a single female who dated my brother when we were in high school together. We even double dated several times as my brother and I were dating two girls who were best friends. So I have known this gal for forty four years. In high school she weighed about ninety pounds. She is 5'-4" tall and weighs 130 now. She is 58, I am almost 61. She is quite sensitive, and I am the proverbial bull in the china shop.

Last Tuesday evening, we were spending the night in a casino hotel in Biloxi, Mississippi. Sitting across the dinner table from each other, for some reason, we got to talking about our double dates together. We then somehow got off on our sizes then vs now. One thing led to another and she asked me if I thought she was fat. My response was definitely not the right one. I responded by saying... No baby, you're not fat, maybe a little thick and chunky, but certainly not fat.

She and I joke about it now, but at the time she was really hurt. Tears came to her eyes and she wasn't the same for the next 24 hours.

So if any of you need advice on how to handle your women, just let me know.

[GyroRon]

Chuck never EVER get into a discussion about weight with a female. When that get's brought up you just tell her you got to use the restroom and hope the subject changes when you get back.

Man you ought to know this! ;) ;) ;)

[Chuck Irby]

Ron, my reply pretty much ended the discussion. I could write a book on what not to say to women. They "can't handle the truth", so why do they ask?

[Screw]

Chuck,

She may have been hurt (short term) but she learned something about you (long term)....You tell it like it is. The truth is what it is. Don't change.

If you change up now, it will hurt her more in the long run becaue she will realize you are just telling her what she wants to hear, and won't value your opinion on much. Therefore, you will lose control of your relationship.

On the other hand, She asked you a question, that she already knew the answer to. Why? Probably fishing for a compliment (I don't know many 58 year olds at 130lbs), or checking out your response. Let's take a look at what you've done with you wonderfull and truthfull response:

1. She probably won't ever ask you a question about her wieght again ;D Don't see a down side here.

2. You might have eleminated the "Do you think she is pretty?" question also.

3. As a matter of fact, with that one truthfull response, you might have wipe out all questions relating to appearance that she already knows the answer to.

4. If she asks you a question relating to appearance, it is because she really doesn't know, and your opinion will have merit, therefore, you maintain control of your relationship.

5. While in control of the relationship, should you to choose to stay together and further develope the relationship, you will be able to ask her questions like, "What airport did you want to live close to?" Or my favorite, "After I finish building my hanger and grass strip, how close did you want the house?" Depending on you, you might even get away with, "Who keeps leaving the f*cking toilet seat down?" ;D

Chuck, the ball is in your court and I want to compliment you for your attitude towards relationships. Don't get me wrong, you will have to provide a life for her to feel safe, secure, and over all warm and fuzzy, so that your level of control can be tolerated (Basically, give her nothing to complain about).

I've been working on mine for two years and at times I'm fairly impressed with what I can get away with. I'm 35, my wife will be 24 soon. She drives a Jaguar, has a new house (which she is repainting the interior and no I don't care about what color and she doesn't ask). She doesn't work. I have my own business, I manage the finances at home and work, 1 gyro very very close to being completed, and another is underway. I don't have to get up in the middle of the night with the kids, and I do leave the toilet seat up. The house and kids are always clean, the laundry is always done, and she doesn't shop at Walmart unless she has too. I do most of the cooking and bathing the children because I enjoy it (family time).

Use the force Chuck, before the Force uses you..... ;D

John-

[Screw]

Oh, Two other things,

When you go out together, make sure you always drive, and when walking around someplace together, always stay in front. She should be three steps behind you and on your left ;D

John-

[Chuck Irby]

Hey John,

I needed that! What a great response! Thanx a lot.

It sounds like you have a great relationship going, and at a great age in life. Keep on keeping on. (You also pegged me. I am brutally honest, and have been all my adult life.)

[Heron]

At this moment I'd like to claim first bid for publications of the finding on this thread!
As soon as you guys are done trying to understand women, we are going to get rich with the formula . . . 8)
Isn't life grand?
Better live it than not.
Heron

[Chuck Irby]

Heron,

Maybe we could co-author a book together in two parts. Since John is the one who possesses the understanding about how they are to be treated and how to keep them in their place, he could write the first half on those topics. Then I could write the second part re what not to do and say. Then you could be the publisher. How do you think that would work and how big do you think the market for such a book would be? You may be on to something here.

[Screw]

I failed to mention, Ive been married three times and divorced twice, so I don't know sh*t about women. I have learned that people are mostly interested in thier own wants and desires, therfore, by tending to their wants and desires ensures the fullfillment of my wants and desires.

Formula:

All that you want = All that she wants
1 2

I think?

[Rotornut]

Lets see! I have been married to Richard for 16yrs been together for 23, have one son together. I am his thrid wife he is my first and last husband. Never do I walk behind, always speak my mind. I work also, always have, I do all the house chores and cooking, half of the repairs. I also work in the shop on his gyro, and our sons engines and body work. I do all yard work. I think I need to talk to other woman more!!! MJ :)

[Chuck Irby]

Uh Oh!!!

Guys, based on M.J.'s reply, it appears that our market for this wonderful publication has just been cut in half. It seems that we can probably forget about sales to the female population altogether.

Wow, Richard did good when he found you M.J.!

Mary Jane, I do have a question for you though: Do you have a single sister? If she has her own gyro, that would be even better.

We appreciate your reply,

Chuck

[Screw]

Just havin fun MJ,

No harm meant ;D

John-

[Heron]

NO FAIR!! Everyone knows M.J's. mold was broken when she was made and there is no other . . . ;)
But I had a co-worker some time ago and he was celebrating 50 years of matrimony, I asked him what's the secret?
He replied:
-"She says yes, I say OK . . . She says NO, I say OK!
It seems to me a simple and good formula.
To sumarize (?) my position: I will not have a woman that needs do be handled, to much trouble!!
Thanks
Heron
M.J. . . .we all love you! :D (Easy now Big Fish . . .)

[Heron]

Let me try again, sorry . . .trying to change my profile pic.

[GyroRon]

Heron, just poking a little fun but your profile pic got me to think of this pic, hope you like it ;D

[Chuck Irby]

Ron, That's too much!! Where the h did you find that? He must be a hair dresser, or maybe an interior decorator, huh?

[GyroRon]

I get them from www. ebaumbsworld.com Best web site ever!

You GOT to click on audio, then check out the Mr.Bergis prank calls.

Here is one of my favorites...... http://media.ebaumsworld.com/index.php?e=ladysitters.wmv

[Chuck Irby]

Ron, I checked it out.... it's pretty neat!!!

[Udi]

I would interject with the definition of the perfect wife, but MJ will kill me (my wife too if she read this)... Besides, there may be children reading this forum...

Udi-

[Chuck Roberg]

Ron, I clicked on the link above. Here's what I got back;

Access denied because of inappropriate content -

Humor, Obscene/Extreme, Sex

Guess I'll have to try it from home. Since I'm blocked at work.

[GyroRon]

Yes there is some pictures of boobs in there, and some dirty jokes etc..., but there is also a lot of just funny stuff that isn't dirty or vulgar. That site is so huge it wouild take a solid day to see - or hear - all of it.. and that is with high speed connection

[Heron]

Hey Ron . . .is the "bixa" a friend of yours? ;D
heheheheeh

That name is going to be a problem in Brazil . . .
heron