View Full Version : Texans and Aussies
06-30-2004, 08:57 PM
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation.
There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking.
The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says,
"Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large."
Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle.
The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows."
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field in the distance. Amazed, he asks,
"What the hell are those?!"
The Aussie replies with an incredulous look,
"Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?" :)
07-02-2004, 05:28 AM
I like it Heron. :D I like it.
07-02-2004, 07:04 AM
Yes, I know some Texan's like that.
I am not a Texan by birth but I got here as fast as I could. ;)
07-02-2004, 07:53 AM
I love Texas . . .had the most wonderfull time there and will repeat.
I just hope to visit Australia soon enough.
Good people in both places!
07-02-2004, 10:01 AM
I like to think there are good people everywhere. Even in Iraq!
Q: What do you call good people in Iraq?
A: Americans! :D
07-02-2004, 06:49 PM
Q: What do you call good people in Iraq?
A: Americans! Wrong!!!!!!!!!!!! "Aussies"
LOL. Aussie Paul. :D
07-03-2004, 03:46 AM
you must go and see FARENHEIT 9/11...and then we'll speak of Iraq!
07-03-2004, 05:09 AM
There are good people all over the Universe . . .the really bad dudes are very few.
The wining side always determine which one is which. It takes years to clear the history on any event.
WWII is a good research theme, the galantry and chivalry was erase for the other side and they all look like monsters in the eyes of the world. Free press is a blessing!
I will not see 9/11, I knew as soon as they cooked the election results that something bad was bound to happen. Some times I pitty Mr. Bush that in an effort to look like Reagan he end up looking like Hitler.
Homeland . . .Fatherland . . .casting blame upon an etnic group, the only difference is that he can barely speak his own language.
Let's lighten up this thread with more jokes? :)
07-03-2004, 05:51 AM
07-03-2004, 07:50 AM
Heron, I would be grateful if you would take your garbage some where else. Your country is a third world country inspite of it's natural beauity and plentiful resorces because of that type of thinking. We are far from perfect here, but things seem to work out. I know that you are not stupid so it amazes me that you would repeat something that is so completly illogical, offensive and without value. Thank You, Vance
07-03-2004, 11:58 AM
I agree with Vance. Please keep your distorted political concepts off this forum.
07-03-2004, 12:16 PM
About face . . .march!!!
07-03-2004, 12:34 PM
07-03-2004, 03:59 PM
Vance and Rehler, go and see FARENHEIT 9/11...and then we'll speak! ok?
07-03-2004, 04:22 PM
Mr Martin, I can't imagine what difference you beleive me watching that fantasy would make in my position on the United States of America. Since I am not going to see it I hope that means that you will take the discusion of that movie elsewhere. I hope that this will not become a political forum. Thank You, Vance
07-03-2004, 04:24 PM
FARENEHEIT 9/11 is a bunch of garbage. It is a typical Michael Moore Crapamentary. He should have been born in Germany in the 1930's. He would have been a great director of those famous propaganda films for Hitler. It fiqures even though he claims to be American Michael Moore has been quoted as saying Americans are a bunch of idiots. I kinda of wish his mother and father would have never came here from Canada.
07-03-2004, 04:54 PM
All americans are immigrants or son of. :D
(except indians)... :rolleyes:
07-03-2004, 06:53 PM
I have been exiled from my own thread, that I've started with a joke and with the motive of getting some laughs.
Than we did a little of crapolitics just to get some more fun and vent a little.
Now we have this kindergarten bully shooing us away . . .I do not know what to do . . .just keep marching till I hit the barbed wire fence or give Mr. Brazilianist here a lesson in history.
I will not see 9/11 I know enough already as I did not and Will not see the Passion, I rather go see the Bourne sequel and enjoy a couple of hours in the theater.
This is a politic Forum . . .plenty of policies here . . .teaching, learning, making friends, checking out the mood, gyro politics and so on and so forth.
Vance . . .did you notice that you do not have to come to this thread any longer, its not of your liking . . .go tune you banjo somewhere else.
Ah . . .and when you done please revise your ranking of Brazil, I think those poor bastards deserve to be at least second world now . . .they are the ninth economy in the world and the fifth most spoken language.
pounding salt should be another good pastime.
Heron (jerky aint I?)
07-03-2004, 07:57 PM
Your spoton Mike, :)
I too reckon that anyone who belives wot they see in ANY movie will be misguided.If they think that movies are anything but fiction I'm sorry for them :( .They are entertainment,not real fact.The only FACTS you get from movies are what the producer "belives" to be correct. :confused:
He may be correct,but you don't know,he could also be trying to conn everybody too.[commercialised propergander] :mad:
07-04-2004, 01:20 AM
Heron, I beleive that your post comparing George Bush to Hitler has no place on this forum. I don't beleive you are in a position to be critical of someone elses skill with the english language. I beleive that you have no reason to suggest that you have been bullied. I would hope that you would realize that a modification of your behavior would benifit you. I feel that when someone atacks the United States of America it is my place to defend it. My son is a United States Marine and is ready to die for this country or for George Bush. I am not able to understand why you think that your position should go unchallanged. I would be gratefull if you would rethink your position. I hope that we will meet some day as friends and share our common passion. Thank You, Vance
07-04-2004, 04:50 AM
Vance . . .just take it with a little humor, I know way more than you know about lots of things, your press and history have been censored and you do not realize it.
The comparison is all over the world I was not the first. Mr Bush did a deservice to this country that only history will be able to show in depth.
My kids will not join any invading army and I do not see forces coming ashore that need to be met, here or in Brazil.
It is you right to say what you think, I will defend it even if I disagree with you, I will listen and respond because I care and especially care for you, my Forum friend!
That incident is growing out of proportion because you've got angry nothing else.
Sometimes I want to get posting and open my heart to warn you about what is happening and why, but I will be arrested or worst by the "defenders" of freedom.
Americans are as good people as others, not better, not worse. The biggest difference it has been money that this country always have poured in to.
I hope your kid is not sold out if he has to do some of the tricks they do and then be the fall guys for some coward general.And may he come back whole and proud as a good soldier.
When you tell me to leave, you are bulling me, lets argue to exaustion and than laugh about how silly we are . . .
Anda lets go back to jokes willya?
Happy 4th to all . . .it is always a wonderfull day for me.
07-04-2004, 05:03 AM
Birdy, maybe the Zapruder movie was fictional and the Warren comission was right . . .
That is entirely my point, gatter information from good sources and take your own conclusions. 9/11 will be biased to some extent, but it will have some factual info for those who want to see it.
Look beyond, look around . . .the US is loosing political weight, economical leverage and making lots of Bin Ladens in the process.
Key positions in the world are going to different countries and the leadership that the US represented is no longer there.And I hear someone say: Ah . . .we have the F-18's
The saying 15 minutes of fame also is applying to world powers, they get up to fast and loose it the same way.
Egipt, Greece, Rome, England, had centuries of dominance, USSR is no longer and the USA rose to power after WWII and it is rapidly loosing the grip.
It is going to get ugly!
07-04-2004, 05:07 AM
Information could be tricky!
07-04-2004, 08:15 AM
(some snipping by rcp) My son is a United States Marine and is ready to die for this country or for George Bush. I am not able to understand why you think that your position should go unchallanged. (some more snipping by rcp) Thank You, Vance
Thank you and thank your son for me. I pray he will be safe.
07-04-2004, 08:26 AM
I would like to remind everyone that today is the 4th of July. And that means it is the day that the start of the creation of the United States of America is celebrated. One of the things to celebrate is our freedom to say what ever we want about how the country is being run or whatever. So, I think all of you that would jump on someone for presenting a personnel view needs to think about that. The day that we aren't able to voice our thoughts will be the day that marks the end of the U.S.
Having said all this, I do think that non-U.S. posters need to show a little common courtesy/sense and refrain from attacks on this country thru a U.S. based forum. If you don't then you can expect to get a nasty response from us that are U.S. citizens. This country isn't perfect because it is made up of non-perfect people but our heart is the right place and we do try to do the right things based on what we know at the time. This includes all of our leaders. The fact that the people we try to help out very seldom show their appreciation hasn't deterred us.
Heron can spout off all he wants about history but until he can offer proof instead of innuendo and the twisting of history to suit him then he is just another person exercising his freedom of speech. I do wonder about the paranoia and conspiracy theories (U.S, the PRA and etc.!) that he displays. But then what do we expect from a basketball ref!
The only question I have for Heron at this point is are you a U.S. citizen?
Now, can we get back to jokes and get the politics off of this forum??!!!!
07-04-2004, 10:06 AM
Thanks Sensei . . .and no, not a citizen after 16 years dealing with INS and now the Homeland BS, do not try the right channels, cheat and get it in 2 years. I don't even have a green card yet.
Beg to differ on the posting, if I want my message to go to americans I have to post in an american forum, chinese don't care about this matters, and I will only post while I care, and I care a lot about the US and the friends I've made here! Kinda non-sense what you've said isn't it?
I will look for a good joke to post and we move on, ok?
By the way Dean, your actual leader sucks!!! :D Happy 4th!!!!!!
07-04-2004, 10:35 AM
Interesting. I know several who didn't cheat, as far as I know, that became citizens without any problem. Hmmm... makes one wonder what your problem is. But since you are not a citizen then I would suggest that everyone ignore your comments on the U.S. until you are.
07-04-2004, 11:55 AM
this thread becomes useless and boredom!
in this case only one thing to do:
have a drink and forget it!
07-04-2004, 02:27 PM
heheheheh, and I hope all will follow your lead Martin :D
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